for honor

and they cared

and so did I

I watched them erect shrines to me,

for guidance

and they cared

and so did I

I watched him burn at the stake,

for truth

and he cared

and so did I

I watched every last stand, every suicidal inch,

for what?

But they cared

and so did I

I watched every spark of passion,

for love

and the lovers cared

and so did I

I watched the young man in his bed searching

for meaning

and he cared

and so did I

I watched myself care for them all

for hope

and I cared

and so did the universe

As the world becomes more connected and advanced, the allure of being able to be superhumanly productive or engaged begins to pull at the corner of our consciousness.  The advent of game mechanics being built into many of these systems continues to blur the line between work and play.

What is free time?

The reason free time is such an effective idea is that it is at once evocative and vague, conjuring different images for each person.  It is because of its vague nature that free time remains a happy but ultimately illusory exercise in theoretical time management.  Indeed, much as a gardener needs to water their plants, so too have we become the tenders to the garden of our own connections.  What happens when the garden of our time is full of weeds?  Indeed, there is something to be concerned about in a society that has come to regard online social interaction as an end rather than as a means to an end.

The human experience is all about experience, and I cannot help but wonder if future generations will measure their success in the accumulated XP of their online personas, rather than the beers they shared with friends or the mountains they climbed just to prove they were capable.  We are drowning ourselves in a sea of accessibility and productivity while losing sight of the fact that your time on this planet is limited.  How likely is it that you will remember all the emails you wrote and texts you responded to when you are lying on your deathbed?  Make use of whatever your concept of free time is, take charge by letting yourself be unleashed from the tethers of always being on call and who knows what wonderful things may happen?

My free time is occupied in thinking about what I can do to learn from those that went before, as well as hoping that one day I can make a small contribution to the legacy of humanity.

And now, a toast or a poem, depending on the occasion and the company.  I wrote it in my head at the Lawrence Hall of Science tonight at 11:30 while admiring the Bay Area cityscape.  I call it Awakening:

Here’s to the day and here’s to the night.

Each one a gift, not simply a right.

A view, a friend, appreciate all that you can

Because it’s what’s in your heart that makes you truly a man.

Honesty

For many people, myself especially, some of the most relaxing time spent each day is in the shower. Shower-time is the time to reflect on the day ahead or just past, a time to be honest with yourself. The honesty inherent in a shower comes from stripping away (literally!) the elaborate and artificial impositions and burdens of our society.  Logos are shed and you can just be you.

• Your phone?  Can’t answer it.
• Your email?  Can’t check it.
• That cute server?  Can’t friend request them.

You get the picture.  Just you and your naked body.

Then something happens – you start to hum.  That tune, that one you heard earlier today.  It turns into a full-blown song, how unlike you!  You are definitely not a singer, nor a rapper, in fact you would not be caught dead even pretending to like this particular tune, not in public.

You tense up.  Then you remember – you aren’t in public.

Creativity

You relax and your mind wanders, helped by the sound and the feel of water beating against your back. Free to roam, your mind slips easily from one thought to the next, sorting and judging, teasing and calculating – until you’ve got it.  You aren’t sure where it came from, or why it arrived, but it’s here.

Whoa.

You look down – still naked.  Nobody there to judge, or tell you “it’s already been done.”  Just you + an idea + endless possibilities. Now take a breath of the night air and keep that idea fresh in your mind – stopping just before you grab a towel to cherish the moment – to realize that you have just embarked upon a path many deny themselves.

These are the moments I relish, because these are the moments I am most free.

Wow.  I was blown away by the response to that last post.  I got numerous emails asking about everything from the specific exercises we did to the connection between presence and power – really insightful stuff, keep it up!  Without further ado, here’s part 2.

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One of the first exercises we worked on (the 4th or 5th class) in theatre 101 really stands out in my mind, for a number of reasons.  It involved walking around the room, expressionless, until we made eye-contact with another student.  Once eye-contact was made you were to hold it for a time, and when the impulse struck, yell one of two possible words.

Only one catch, both students had to do it at the same time.

Why?

The point of yelling was to try and react not only at the exact instant the other person yelled, it was also to make sure we committed to our impulses.

“You have got to be kidding me,” I thought, “I’m going to spend the next 2 hours yelling at my classmates?”

As soon as we began there was trouble, particularly if the person you interacted with was attractive.  The result was a disaster – disjointed yells, nervous laughter, and people breaking eye-contact everywhere.

“Enough!”  My professor had seen enough. “We are going to switch the words to curse words, because right now you are still thinking about what you are going to say.  Do not think.  React. Be present in the moment and the impulse.  Letting your impulses direct you is the sign of an actor, not the other way around.”

And then it began.  Instead of “Steak” and “Beaches” we had “Fuck” and “Shit.”

Strangely enough, voices began to ring out in unison, often correct.

“Must be a fluke.”

The professor introduced a third word, and still the percentage of successful interactions continued its climb. By the end of class we had gathered in a circle where we looked around, until our eyes met another student’s, at which point the two students walked to the middle of the circle, and performed the exercise.  The success rate was astonishing.  I would guess, conservatively, that 70% of the time, both students would yell the same word at the same time.

What the hell happened?

Later that afternoon it began to sink in – The “thinking” was a form of judgement, brought on by fear of being “wrong.”  We all wanted to be “right” so we all tried to guess what the other person would say.

The transition to the curse words was perfect, because it forced us to overcome the social taboo of saying something normally off-limits.  Who cares about being wrong when you’re looking an incredibly attractive student in the eyes and yelling “Fuck” at the top of your lungs?  Ironically, by creating an atmosphere that was inherently skewed (all those curse words being shouted), we were able to stop thinking and start reacting, start being present.

Moreover, it just goes to show that you are your only limit.  People establish your value based on how you value yourself, how confident you are in yourself.  Do you really think Lebron James stops to think about the basket he is about to sink?  No.  He has confidence in his impulses, and therefore has confidence in himself.

Why is this is important?

The reason talented actors are so scarce, is that those of the elite caliber have learned to let themselves deliver honest performances.  They have learned to live and die by their impulses.

Does that sound like something I love?  If you guessed entrepreneurship, you’re absolutely right.

And while there may be money in building a clone, or the 10 billionth of something, nothing will convince me that one of those empty pursuits is more worthy than applying yourself to a project you love built from an idea you had.

What I learned: Once you remove the fear of judgement, and substitute it for the natural inquisitiveness that lurks within, you are able to move past the arbitrary restrictions you have placed on yourself.

The most important class I have ever taken, I took only last semester.  It was not economics, nor was it history.  The most important class I have ever taken was Intro to Theatre, 101.

Every day we spent at least 15 minutes looking into another student’s eyes, no facial expressions or body movements allowed, just feeling the other’s presence and projecting our own.

“How lame,” I  thought, “How artsy.”

Then something strange happened.  I first noticed it during my walk back to my dorm after the fourth or fifth class, as I met the gaze of other students in transit.

I didn’t look away.  Even more strange, I had no intention of doing so.  I just wanted to look, to feel their presence and gauge their strength.  It was exhilarating.

Class continued and we learned how to create and strengthen our presence by internalizing feelings, and “being present” in those feelings.  Example:  Have you noticed the difference between when you are feigning anger compared to when you are actually angry?  When you are faking being upset, you are thinking “act upset.”  When you are genuinely upset, you are “feeling upset.”  Which of those would you say is more authentic?  Obviously the “felt” anger trumps the “thought” anger.

Essentially, by identifying and magnifying the many feelings already below the surface, we slowly learned how to be “present” instead of acting.

Suddenly the people in and around my life, the ones who were acting, became obvious:

• The girl walking past me thinking pretty rather than feeling it.
• The professor dressing a student down for using improper grammar.
• The friends who refuse to look me in the eye when revealing something about themselves.

This is especially intriguing because if you train your entire life at “thought-acting” you do eventually become quite good at it.  You can even fool most people – I  know, I was a thought-actor.

I made some small changes, like being entirely honest about how I felt in trying situations.  I continue to practice being present and can honestly say that I am better for it.

Unsurprisingly, parallels emerged between start-ups and presence. To summarize:

• Presence is a reflection of internal factors, such as the confluence of feelings that contribute to confidence, and competence.
• Companies that are corrupt internally may overcompensate on the surface to attempt to prove themselves reliable or trustworthy, just as a person who is thought-acting will frown to show that they are upset, or smile to show that they are happy.
• I realize now that often the best start-ups are the ones that have magnified the good aspects of corporate or personal culture – they have a competent, confident presence.

It blows my mind that I have already learned so much, especially considering how much more there is to know.  People spend their entire lives acting, putting on a charade for others, without taking the time to look at themselves.

I’m sitting here in just my boxers, I may have just taken a shower.  Next to me is my ideabook, opened to a page that I have just scribbled on.  Most importantly, I’ve just had an idea.

But that is wrong, I have not just had an idea, I have had multiple ideas, each slightly different than its predecessor.  This is my idea faucet, something that I have for years tapped unconsciously and can now turn on consciously.  Again, this is wrong, I simply provide the optimal environment for the flow of ideas and just subtly direct things from there.  Like a conductor.  Think Michael Tilson Thomas.  But ideas.

How do you turn your idea faucet on?

It’s simple – really.  Find somewhere you are comfortable sitting, or standing or leaning for a couple minutes.  I know my personal faves are the shower, driving or tilted back in my chair.  Now look at something, like a bottle, or a cell phone, or a desk – something with some character, and just subtly prompt yourself, “You know what would be cool…”  The first ideas will drip out, and they will be that stale, dirty old stuff that has been sitting in the pipes since ’95.

Switch focus, again prompt yourself, “You know what would be cool…?”  Feel that cool water cruising through your mind as you consider the intricacies of installing computer chips in water bottles.  Whatever you do, do not force it, these things take time.

Now iterate.  Ruthlessly.

95% of your ideas suck. Mine too.  Nobody produces perfect ideas all the time.  The people who seem to have lots of good ideas actually do, for the most part, but not because of luck.  What sets them apart is the speed at which that can mentally iterate and prune their ideas.

I used to go down longs paths of ideation before realizing, “Wow, that might work, but only in the strangest of contexts.”  Sound familiar?  Be ruthless, start pruning and directing your ideas.  Contextualize them.  Ask yourself what the business model would be, what the market would look like, why someone would want it.  See how it evolves.

Glad you have your faucet running, but you are not done yet.

Write it down, make it live.

So you have a pretty good idea, and your faucet is flowing.  DO.  NOT.  STOP.  Ideas follow the path of least resistance, and if they are flowing you have a duty to yourself to write them down.  By committing your ideas to paper, or text you are creating art and potentially a better future for yourself and others.  Once you have something tangible you can make adjustments, get advice, create projections – all steps on the path to making your idea(s) a reality.

Now I just need to find someone who knows how to make Vitamin Water bottles that can measure the amount of fluid left in it and the corresponding number of calories.

I’m joking of course, my mom doesn’t read my blog.  I think.

Here is a quick update on stuff I’m working on:

Yourgrounds.com got a new programmer who is toiling away on he back-end to make the front-end easier to use.

My sister has an awesome blog that’s gaining some traction here.

I’ll be in Vancouver for the Olympics so drop me a line if you want to grab a beer or yell at Canadians, because either way I’m totally there.

The biggest secret of the rich is networking, how they leverage their connections.  We all do this to some extent, an uncle with allotments of wine from a great vineyard or a buddy who has season tickets to a major sports franchise.  So often I see people hamstring themselves by not taking a chance and asking someone to grab a bite to eat, or come out for drinks.

Simple common sense dictates:

• The most important people to connect with are those that other people follow.
• The easiest way to make a connection is through a point of common interest.
• Avoid people who are unreliable or who are only motivated by self interest

Networking is about recognizing the intrinsic value of forging relationships, which is why many of the best bloggers recommend writing guest blog posts.  This is a win-win, since they get great content and you get recognition and (hopefully) an increase in traffic.

Keep in mind here, I’m learning as I go – feel free to share any tips you might have with me!

That doesn’t mean those of you with the resources to read this blog shouldn’t embrace the better aspects of globalization.

• You can go work in India.
• You can learn spanish and tango in Argentina.
• You can climb the Mayan Pyramids in Mexico.

Why don’t you?  Here are the rationalizations that are already swirling in your head:

• I don’t have the money
• I don’t have the time
• I am already planning on doing it in the future/with a friend, but now doesn’t work.

Really?  My philosophy has always been fairly simple – do what makes you happy.  If you genuinely believe you’ll thank yourself for not traveling a decade from now, then who the hell am I to say different?

On the other-hand, if you think, “Yea, maybe I could do it, maybe I don’t have to walk the path more traveled,” then stop what you’re doing and put on your thinking cap.

Ask yourself:

• Where do I want to go?
• What do I want to do?
• What am I good at/what do I have to offer?

The simple truth of the matter is somebody out there wants your skills and it’s up to you to find them.  Consider that even if you get the equivalent of the same job you had at home, you have still come out ahead – because you’re living abroad.  Your friends and family will still be there when you get home, and screw them anyways – you’ll make new ones (maybe not family!).  You’ll meet new people and and have wild experiences that teach you about yourself, and that is what globalization is all about.

Perspective.  Learning about yourself through the eyes of others.

Suddenly those expensive shoes aren’t quite as worth it after you’ve stepped over a body in the gutter or given away loaf of bread.  I am a firm believer that you can’t change what you don’t know or understand, and while you’re out there, remember that forging long lasting connections is what globalization is all about.

Go ride a motorcycle with no helmet down wet roads at unsafe speeds, or base-jump off something incredibly high – just don’t end up saying “I wish” ten years down the road.

And if you do happen to get there, somewhere, wherever it is, tip a tall one for the people still at home and take a second to think about how lucky you are to be you.

• Sad because of the potential some of the people I know have locked within – potential that through self-doubt or lack of willpower will never be realized.
• Sad because they’re willing to settle for less, for almost, for mediocre.

The worst part of all is that they don’t even notice.  It chills me to the bone to realize that I might be just like them – too blind to realize that my actions and decisions are ultimately irrelevant.

The word “will” comes up over and over and I am reminded of my 7th Grade Spanish teach Mr. DeWall who said, “When you say ‘I will’ you are expressing a special part of what it is to be Human.  Your will is your own, and when you say ‘I will’ you are saying that you personally will something to be done.  The only person that has an impact on your will is you, therefore you have nobody to blame but yourself if your will fails.”

The only way I can set my mind at ease is to tell myself that I am working towards a real possibility.  I want to be President of the United States.  I will be President of the United States.  I will it.

See you at the top.

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The title of this post is an anagram – the first person to discover the actual title, and let me know in an email, wins a prize.  I suppose a comment would work too!

UPDATE: The anagram was “This doesn’t deserve a title.”